To my boyfriend’s grown son,
Lately it seems your father and I are public enemy #1. Unbeknownst to us, we have permanently kicked you out of the house. We were unaware of this until we heard from at least two people that you’ve been telling everyone this. Not only do you have the story backwards again and not only have you manipulated the details again to victimize yourself, but you haven’t given us the chance to even talk about it. Yet again you’re hiding under the other parent’s wing because you can’t pull your thumb out of your mouth long enough to accept responsibility for the choices you make and be an adult.
A few people have told me that you think I hate you. Hate? Really? I don’t hate anybody… except maybe Hitler. I’m the reason you have a car. I’m the one who tirelessly does all the Christmas shopping every year. I have sat and tried to encourage you and had long talks with you about the things you need to change to get anywhere in life beyond your parents’ basements. I offered you help when you were struggling in school, but you didn’t take it. So no, I don’t hate you. I don’t particularly like you, but who does right now? You treat everyone around you like garbage. You yell and scream and throw childish tantrums. You mooch and never do anything for people in return. You have zero motivation and are unemployed more than you are employed. You lie, steal and manipulate to get what you want, and despite being caught dozens of times, you still choose dishonesty over sincerity. You don’t appreciate a damn thing. You don’t help us out and we can’t trust you. You’re 100% selfish and thoughtless. So, would you like you very much if you weren’t you?
On the ungrateful note… it came to our attention that after your father spent close to $600 in parts for your car last Christmas, all you had to say about it was, “He only got me two struts and I need four.” Then you went and told your entire family that it’s all your dad’s fault that you’re not driving because he wouldn’t shell out the money to fix your car. So, your three consecutive bounced insurance payments and the resulting cancelled policy had nothing to do with it? I guess you forgot that he bought the car, paid to have it safetied and certified, bought you new tires and then spent another $600 on parts to fix it after you drove the shit out of it three months later. Oh, and you weren’t able to renew your plate stickers until you paid off all the outstanding parking fines you let get out of control, so your dad helped you with that. Your dad made it very clear that if he bought you a car, you’d be responsible for it. That meant maintenance, gas and insurance. You only had that car to pay for, but when you neglected that you blamed your dad… the man who got you that car so you could get a job. And you’re STILL unemployed. You’re right… your dad’s a total asshole for not doing more. Whatever were we thinking when we expected you to look after yourself and your own property?
I don’t know where you get this entitlement attitude from, but that’s something you should have grown out of 6 or 8 years ago… if you had been raised with the right values or if anybody had utilized discipline. I don’t like anybody who goes through life with their hand out and does nothing to earn it. US not getting along is 100% a result of your attitude and behaviour. And so long as you don’t change, neither will me disliking you. We’re apples and oranges. I have spent my life taking care of myself, and I have a strong will to do for others who deserve it and don’t ask… but not for people like you. You don’t have a conscience. I will never, ever be OK with the things you do, so you can forget getting any sympathy from me.
You have stolen from us, broken in to our house when we’re not home or when you think we’ll be asleep. You’ve stolen and pawned from your own family. You’ve thrown a party and gotten in to a lot of trouble over it, costing your grandparents thousands in legal fees… and you can’t even offer to cut their grass or shovel their driveway without wanting to be paid for it. We let you stay in this house alone, even though we didn’t have a lot of faith that you’d improved… and we came home to a mess that confirmed we were right. You left the dogs alone for 4 days without feeding them or letting them outside. Without heat in the dead of winter. You couldn’t even snowblow the driveway for us so that we could get down to the house at 10 pm in -20 weather. Your dad had to get up at 6 am to do it himself, after spending a month at work.
We have been fielding nightmare after nightmare with you. How much more do you think we need to take? When are you going to start supporting yourself and living your own life? How many more times are you going to break your father’s heart before a light goes on inside your head? You have no idea what you put that man through, and he has done EVERYTHING for you… even when you didn’t deserve it. And you’re heartless enough to call him a monster… because he yelled at you when you wouldn’t listen or had no common sense. Your interpretations of events are largely misinformed and victimized. Every time you do something wrong, you run away to avoid consequences… which shows how childish and irresponsible you are. Everyone can see it. Everyone comments on it. You embarrass yourself and make your dad the scapegoat, which is totally unfair. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit. No one does.
The person apparently responsible for you being a lousy person