I’m almost the incredible bionic woman.

Well I’m laying in bed with a broken leg AND a broken ankle. I am the collector of debilitating injuries.

This time it was the result of a few factors, such as:

  • Wearing flip flops
  • Just coming out of the water
  • Miscalculating my foot placement while walking across a steep slab of bedrock

Thank you, Canadian Shield. You are one painful bitch. Len and Kenney had to pick me up after I started screaming and carry me to the end of the dock, with my foot dangling to the right of where it should have been. I could feel the broken bones rubbing together as they swept past each other with every swish of motion. Thank christ bones don’t have nerve endings.

But torn ligaments do… and I don’t know how many I tore, but according to my surgeon what I endured was a “bad break.” What qualifies as a bad break, as opposed to a good break? I now have plates, screws and pins in my right leg. I broke my ankle, as well as my fibula. I’m non-weight bearing for 6 – 8 weeks. My leg has so many staples in it that I look like a zipper. Yeah, I’d call that bad. And I’m getting awfully sick of easy crosswords, jigsaw puzzles and DVDs.

I already spent 6 weeks battling sciatica, back in April. That was balls, and also the longest back problem I’ve had yet. Once a year for the last 3 summers I am knocked out by horrific lower back pain. I’m not sure what caused it; one day I went to sit down in a beach chair and yelped at the sudden spasm I felt, and the rest is history. Now it seems to materialize sometimes over the smallest tasks. I have to be so careful. Chiropractors help.

As for my foot… I now have a small spot on the top of my foot that’s numb and burning. According to my friends who have been through surgery, this is normal and normally goes away in time. I have a sharp, shooting pain on the inside of my foot that I suspect is a compressed nerve from all the swelling, and my best guess is this is where the numbness is coming from. I’m thankful it isn’t my entire foot.

If anyone is out there who can commiserate, feel free.

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