Why, Karen, why!

Dear Karen Bardsley,

I hate that you’re so cute because ever since the World Cup, when I discovered you, I haven’t stopped looking at your pictures online. You’re the best looking girl in football. And when you climb the goal post or dive across the net, I swoon a little more. Dammit.

Also, I’m just saying… I’d totally make you the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had.

And both of our families have ties to Manchester. It’s fate. I’d even learn to eat healthy. But no guarantees I’d let kale anywhere near me.

You’re the tits. Marry me?

Sincerely,

Your biggest oggler

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