On a separate note…
I just re-applied to university for part-time distance studies. How many times have I said I was going to do this? /Gemini
For those who don’t know, I had started to pursue part-time studies towards a Bachelor of Arts with a major in criminology at King’s University College, but I got booted out after two semesters because my grades weren’t good. That was my own fault; I was trying to juggle too many obligations at once and made a poor decision to go back to school when I had no stability in my life. I could barely get to work, so I don’t know how I figured I could manage two part-time jobs and part-time schooling. It was the most stressful time of my life.
Long story short, that was 5 years ago. So I’m asking for re-admission. You have to re-apply and then you have to submit a formal statement of appeal, and then you have to submit a typed essay that explains why you should be considered. I can do this. I’m confident, because I can easily explain the circumstances then and how different they are now without sounding like I’m BS-ing.
I’m a lot more academic now than I was before. I wish this drive was there when I was in high school; I might have an Ivy League diploma by now, who knows.
I was giving school lots of thought over the last couple days. I think I’d make a good paralegal, and the programs for that are only a year long… but at the same time, I was pretty passionate about this crim degree, and it never sat well with me that it was something I didn’t finish. So, hopefully I’ll get that chance. If not, paralegal might be an option if I can complete it through distance studies because it might just be the perfect second job when I have a month off… not necessarily AS a paralegal, but maybe just a legal assistant, with the potential of becoming a paralegal if I really love it. I love my job, and I’ve certainly had some AWESOME experiences, but… I’m losing my passion for what I do very rapidly. I don’t brag about my job like I used to, and I’m never excited about going back to work like I used to be. I used to pack my bags a week in advance, and now I get moody just thinking about the obligation of returning. I think if I really felt like they were prepping me for something better than what I am, I’d feel differently. I know they’re bound by the rules, but at the same time… they regularly bend the rules for people when they want to, but I haven’t been one of those people. Instead, I’ve been on the sidelines watching them doing it for others. I’m on the sidelines, BEING sidelined. It makes you scratch your head at times. Two years ago they thought rainbows shot out my arse, and now they barely notice I’m there. I feel a bit like my talent is being wasted and my ambition is slowly disappearing because I’ve been unhappy for the last year and a half.
Anyway, I’m not suggesting I want to quit my job. But, I think school would be a great way to channel my creativity and talent (and brains) in the interim, and it gives me another credential that I can use if my current job doesn’t work out in the long-run. Who knows, I may experience a surge in passion for what I do and my employer might promote me to the job I want, or at least revert me back to the one I loved that they took away from me (not likely). But, if I don’t feel like things are improving for me where I am, at least I’ll have options, right? It’s a big world out there with millions of opportunities, and I’d hate to miss my calling because I never explored the possibilities. Time is precious; you can’t afford to waste years being unhappy.
I again reference a quote that I found in a philosophical book that was given to me for a graduation gift, that I liked so much I painted it on a rock that keeps my bedroom door open:
“No amount of security is worth living a life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.” – Kent Nerburn