I’m bored. I need something to keep myself busy in the winter when I’m not working. I’d like to get my education going again, so I might enrol in some courses at Lambton College or get back on the correspondence degree at Western that I started two years ago. I think I’m going to have to take sociology and psychology again. It’s funny, because for such bullshit courses they’re a) mandatory for a criminology degree and b) impossible to maintain my attention, even though they’re as brainless as they get. Actually, arts and crafts are about as brainless as they get, but this is only half a step up from that. Pardon my offensiveness if you majored in either of those, but god I hate sociology. And here I am wanting a degree in a social science program…

I’d like to do the Basic Level 1 cook’s apprenticeship through the college, but it’s 30 weeks and I don’t have the time for that. I should maybe consult someone at the college and see what my options are… or just wait until work gives me the go-ahead to take their course. That would be easier than doing it all myself.

I feel at this point in my life that things are falling into place effortlessly. Finally I had a fulfilling year with very little complications, and I’m not that far from making this the usual way of things. I wasn’t out of a job; I got settled into a new apartment; I traveled the world; I got that assignment at work that I wanted since I started working there. AND – I’m losing weight. Everything else is gravy. I can finally start planning my life, because although my status at work isn’t permanent (yet), it’s more stable than anything I’ve ever had and it gives me the room to plan my life financially. It gives me goals to strive for. Never before had I solidly thought about building a house or owning property, and these are things I want within five years. And I believe I can make it happen. I’ve been scoping out land online because I want to know exactly what I want when I go to buy my property. I know I want to be up near Sault Ste. Marie, and I know I want to be in the woods around the water. I found some really good deals, so I’m starting to piece together how it’s going to be when I make the plunge. I know what I want for my house already, so that makes it easy when I start saving because I’ll know what kind of expenses to expect. I just need to befriend an architect who can help me draft up a perfect blueprint, and I know of a well-recommended contractor who can do the job when it’s time.

It’s nice that I have the funds at my disposal if I want to take some courses, or if I want to go on a holiday somewhere. I know it can all change in the drop of a hat, so I’m thankful for all the opportunities I have right now. I’m lucky that I’ve been able to do these things. I’ve never been so content with the way things are before. I’m used to stressing all the time about my life and how up in the air it’s always been. These days I know what being grounded is all about, and I have to say that I like the way my feet feel when they’re planted. In reference to something a good friend once said to me, my face is bathed in light and I’m looking towards the sky.

I’m doing this! All on my own.

PS – A little update on the smoking. I went without for two days and I wasn’t craving them at all. And then I went out and had a few drinks last night and got the craving, and didn’t stop myself from going in the store and buying a pack. I had two, and now my throat hurts today and I can’t even stand to look at them. So I guess that’s good progress?


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